recent ponderings

--i'm trying to understand love:
"To love another person is to see the face of God." --Victor Hugo

"Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves."(Abdu'l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 92)

--motivation: where does it come from and how can it be created?

--culture clash: as a child of two cultures, i am realizing more and more that i don't understand either one of them. and i don't feel as though i belong to either one.

--the halo effect: essentially, we judge the "goodness" of people based on their outer appearance. the more attractive we find them, the more likely we are to assume that person is "good." what happens when we stop judging people based on their looks and start focusing on their Godly attributes?

--forgiveness: "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." --Gandhi

--success: society measures through career and wealth. which means absolutely nothing.
"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they will never sit under." --Greek proverb

"Let deeds, not words, be your adorning." (Baha'u'llah, The Persian Hidden Words)

"...sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."
--Jonathan Safran Foer

spent

i haven't been able to shake my exhaustion lately. exhaustion coming from so many different directions: from pressure to be more and do more. from the stress of things not going as planned. from the countless drives made downtown. from empty promises. from neglect. from hypocrites. i am just tired. i am tired of giving and giving and others taking from me without giving in return. and i know the answer is to just keep giving, but every once in a while it would be nice to take.

the last weekend in january: perfection masked by difficulty. my patience/temper was definitely tested. all the better as it definitely needs testing in order to be refined. oh goodness. i spent the weekend at the home of a couple who i have known for ten years now. and they are now married with two children. two beautiful children who are amazingly wonderful and who possess the most wonderful virtues. and the couple, with their constant support and love and encouragement. i am continuously amazed by the beautiful people i have been fortunate enough to meet.

i realized the other day that the majority of my time is spent with either people over the age of 30 or under 18. which is fine as, besides a few notable exceptions, i am not a fan of kids my age, they wear me out with their incessant nonsense and silliness. and these notable exceptions, oh gosh, they are so beautiful. and i can't get enough of them. regardless, i am in love with the people i have been interacting with lately.

the other day i was suddenly reminded of the fact that i'm not supposed to be here right now. that if my plans hadn't been thwarted midway through, i would not be where i am right now physically. and that, probably, this delay is serving some purpose. that there is more for me to learn and observe and absorb before i leave. so instead of sitting back idly, i am reminded to continue to absorb from the beautiful people that i know. and to plan some trips to visit the beauties i know who don't live nearby (and of those lovelies, there are too many and my heart is anxious to see them and to get to know them better).

there is always room for growth and love.