Sunday, September 18, 2005

So things are going well. And I have no reason to complain. Whatsoever.

  • School is going pretty well right now. Which is good. Classes shouldn't be too bad this semester. Except for Calc 3. Whatever.
  • Oh my goodness. Labor Day weekend was amazing! I went to Tennessee and got to hang with some of the coolest people ever. I was reminded of just how glorious the summer was to me. I had a conversation with Dory that helped reassure me a little on some of my recent insecurities. And showed me that maybe I do need to put some things behind me. Maybe not completely, but I can't keep holding on to things. I'm struggling with this one, I don't want to give it up, but more than likely, now's just not the time.
  • I also got to see Collin over Labor Day weekend, which made me happy. So basically, I was around people from the summer and old friends and new friends. And awesomeness.
  • Hmm....
  • We moved. I haven't been in the new house with all the furniture in it yet, but it's going to be extremely confusing. Reversal.
  • This weekend has been pretty good. I went to a murder mystery dinner theater Thursday night, we had a lot of visitors Friday night, game Saturday night, and I just got back from The Phantom of the Opera at the Fox. Can't ask for better.
I have every reason to be happy right now. I am so lucky. But for whatever reason, I haven't been completely happy. Don't get me wrong, there are moments. But overall...... Maybe I'm thinking too much about the moments when I'm down. I don't know. I don't know at all.

The only dreams I remember anymore are the ones about a certain person. And I have no idea what to make of them.

I long to walk through a redwood forest. To feel the sun enveloping me in its warmth. To know that I was surrounded by love. To not feel doubts or insecurities. To feel comfortable in my own skin. To truly and completely be myself.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

All I want is to be able to sit down and have a conversation that for once won't be interrupted by other people, responsibilities, or time. Maybe then I could figure some stuff out.