you could have it all if you wanted
you could have it all if it mattered so much
but then all they know is how to put you down
when you're there, they're your friend
but then when you're not around
they say, "oh, she's changed"
we know what they mean
well they mean, they're just jealous
because they never do the things
they wish that they could do so well
--"golden touch," razorlight
I feel so immensely tired and I can't understand why. It comes in spurts. And then I get insomnia, go figure. But this tiredness extends past just the physical. It's physical, mental, and emotional. Although the emotional has recently transferred itself to the mental category. And it's not mental exhaustion from classes and absorbing any real, sustainable knowledge. It's more along the lines of having to deal with other people, of being tired of having to socialize, of having to respond to people when I have no idea what to say. Sometimes, life is inane. And right now, I just want to fade into the background, until the right time, place, and people come along to draw me back...
Monday, February 27, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
are you lost or incomplete
do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece
The warmer and the nicer the weather gets the more my thoughts turn to summer. I know, I know, I've said this over and over, time and time again. But I sit in class and all I can think about is the summer, and what I want it to be like. The plans I have, the people I want to see, the things I want to do, the places I want to go. And I'm fortunate enough that I know many exciting things are going to take place this summer. Things that will break the routine that past summers have seen. And I'm looking forward to it, I'm anticipating it, I'm craving it. And as long as my expectations don't become overpowering, I'm good. Except for the small fact that there is definitely still 10 weeks left until then. Which is quite some time.
In the here and now though, life has been interesting. I just realized that I always ask people how life's treating them. But wouldn't it be just as correct to ask how they're treating life? Because we do have a great deal of control over the things we decide to do. For the most part.
I'm looking for simplicity among the chaos. And not finding it. And I have no idea where my missing piece, or pieces, might be. I have an idea, but I am too tired and my heart is too heavy to go looking.
do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece
The warmer and the nicer the weather gets the more my thoughts turn to summer. I know, I know, I've said this over and over, time and time again. But I sit in class and all I can think about is the summer, and what I want it to be like. The plans I have, the people I want to see, the things I want to do, the places I want to go. And I'm fortunate enough that I know many exciting things are going to take place this summer. Things that will break the routine that past summers have seen. And I'm looking forward to it, I'm anticipating it, I'm craving it. And as long as my expectations don't become overpowering, I'm good. Except for the small fact that there is definitely still 10 weeks left until then. Which is quite some time.
In the here and now though, life has been interesting. I just realized that I always ask people how life's treating them. But wouldn't it be just as correct to ask how they're treating life? Because we do have a great deal of control over the things we decide to do. For the most part.
I'm looking for simplicity among the chaos. And not finding it. And I have no idea where my missing piece, or pieces, might be. I have an idea, but I am too tired and my heart is too heavy to go looking.
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