there might be hope for me yet...

when my alarm went off at 6 am this morning and i woke up to the sound of devon singing the morning prayer, i felt wonderful, restful. i spent an hour eating my breakfast and saying my prayers, ready to start my day of studying.

instead, i came online, where i've spent an hour peering into the lives of others. no one else in the apartment is awake, so it's just me in my room with the lights on. it's snowing outside and the sound of the snow/sleet is oh so comforting.

as i was looking at pictures of other people's lives, i was struck by the thought, "i am so excited for my life." immediately, i was taken aback. what a strange thought to hit me. but maybe not so. all my life i've been a dreamer. i read books far more than i actually participated in life. deep down, i have this feeling that life has some excitement and magic in store for me. i hope i'm not imagining this feeling, and i hope i'm wide-eyed enough to see it when it happens.

life has been tough these past few months. i've felt more lonely and hurt than i ever have. and yet, things are slowly turning around. i am turning around. i feel myself becoming stronger. i'm still hopeful for the future, but for right now, i'm going to revel in my solitude on this quiet saturday morning, with the snow falling and my schoolwork awaiting.