transitions

the last few days have been good. surprisingly good. it was a long weekend full of bundling up in layers upon layers to go door-to-door teaching in the cold, impromptu dinner guests, finally getting to spend some time with my bestest, socializing with my youth, my little brother being home, watching 24 with my dad, seeing love radiating everywhere.

all good. with only one slight, embarassing mishap that put a damper on things. but that served as a reminder that i need to stop being so careless and to be more mindful of what i am doing. i am too easily distracted.

the long weekend also brought news of an engagement. my cousin will be getting married soon and i am so excited for them! my cousin and i first met in april 1994 and we couldn't stand each other. it wasn't until two years later that we became friends. and it wasn't until 1998 that our friendship was solidified when her family came to visit us in louisville. 10 months later my family moved to atlanta and a new chapter of our friendship began.

this is the girl i spent the majority of middle and high school with. i would spend days at her house in the summertime where we would flip through magazines, watch music videos and spend hours at the pool. we would stay up into the early hours of the morning talking about everything. we were thankful to have each other at a time when persian get-togethers took place every other weekend. without her, my social life would have been extremely lacking. to this day, i am still in love with her laugh.

and while i am so happy for her, i am also sad. just last sunday, we were waxing nostalgia on our childhood. on the beauty of being young and the hours we would spend together. we talked about trying to resurrect those days, but i doubt we would even know how to go about doing that. her engagement is another subtle reminder that our childhoods are over. oh well. at least there is a wedding to look forward to!

beautify your tongues

stepping stones

“Perhaps the greatest test Bahá’ís are ever subjected to is from each other; but for the sake of the Master they should be ever ready to overlook each other’s mistakes, apologize for harsh words they have uttered, forgive and forget. He strongly recommends to you this course of action.”

(From a letter written on behalf of the Guardian to an individual believer, February 18, 1945; Living the Life, p. 12)

surprisingly, this is something i've been faced with for the past month now. in a number of different formats. and it hasn't been as easy to deal with as i would have thought. but i am trying to overlook other's mistakes and to love them for the sake of God.

"These were people, waiting for their lives to begin, people who for all their manifestations of depression and grunge and loneliness, were secretly full of optimism and promise and the blazing, glorious arrogance of youth. Their mistakes didn't count, because their Real Lives hadn't yet begun. Things could change for them in an instant." --Cathi Hanauer

i feel as though this is quickly becoming no longer applicable to me. i am losing my optimism and far worse, i feel like i'm losing my potential. this in-between stage is a bit of an uncomfortable one. done with school, yet not quite completely an adult just yet. living for myself, yet not as selfishly as before because i need to focus more strongly on being a capable, independent woman. trying to figure out the future, leaving room for spontaneity but knowing full well that sometimes you need some set plans.

i feel like i am wasting my time, slowly atrophying. that even though i have beautiful plans that are being set in motion they are still too far away in the future. all this time that could be used doing something incredibly positive is being wasted. and although i have mini projects that i have been working on, the desire to do more and bigger is still there. thankfully, our 10th ipg starts this weekend. i think a few weekends of intensive teaching, followed by tutoring at project mona sounds like a good cure.