"I have reflected many times upon our rigid search. It has shown me...that everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always along the side of us...on the inside, looking out. Like you say, inside out. Jonfen, in this way, I will always be along the side of your life. And you will always be along the side of mine. Our families will be with us, and our families' families. Your grandfather. And perhaps, in some way, my grandfather as well."
--Everything Is Illuminated


It's always when we don't have expectations that things surprise in ways unimaginable. They say time is what keeps things from happening all at once. It seemed as though everything happened this summer, and all at the same time. I needed a break, a chance to refind the peace and tranquility that had been hiding too deep inside of me for so long. And of course, I found it in the place where I've always known it to be--my second home, and in some ways my first home. The last two weeks have been ineffable. Unbelievably amazing. I love the rare chances that I have to truly show my appreciation and love for life and for others. People keep telling me that I'm in the wrong place. I always thought I was just in the wrong frame of mind, but I'm slowly beginning to see that it's a combination of both. So where does that leave me? Should I leave now or wait until after I finish college? I'm still debating this one. Will the promise of future happiness be enough to tide me over or do I need to be happy now?

My whole being is tired. I couldn't sleep last night. After sleeping outside for a week under the stars and moon, it's difficult to sleep in a bed with walls containing me. There is nothing as peaceful as sleeping under the stars with the people you love. Oh why can I never be satisfied? As per the advice of more than a few people I trust, my thoughts are focused on getting back to the place that should be my home as soon as possible, and for as long as possible.

Other than that, I'm so thankful for the "family reunion" that was had. I am relieved that my aunt and uncle are out of Haifa for now, although they are both itching to get back "to the action" as my uncle referred to it as.